Take these broken wings and learn to fly...

This morning before my meeting I weighed myself.. down 1.5 since yesterday which isn't bad in 1 day BUT it was short lived.  My meeting went well and on my way home my friend called  and invited to go out to "celebrate" so we went and of course I not only had my salad, I picked at the nachos, nibbled on my friends fries and drank 2 margaritas... yes 2 very laaaarrrggee margaritas. The one margarita has more cals than I wanted to eat the whole day. I just hate when I have no self control! So I decided tomorrow since I dont work so I will do an all liquid fast for atleast 3 days. Since I don't work i can try to sleep most of the day away and run errands with mom. Wanted to hit the gym but I absolutely hate going.. esp if im fasting because I have no energy. 
Im trying to not dwell on my mini binge tonight so im going to write it here and hope I get it off my chest and not have to think about it again... Why is it that I always sabatoge myself when im making progress? 4 1/2 lbs in 3 days isn't bad.. especially since I wasn't working out nor was I fasting. It never fails that once I feel good about my diet/ progress I mess it up. When my friend called I wasn't even hungry but walking into the resteraunt and smelling the food and seeing the margaritas I caved! I swear for me to have control over my eating I need to become a hermit. :(  Feel good about myself and have no friends or have fun and hate myself... anyway gonna take a long walk.. hope i can burn a few of those calories I ate/drank! 

Well got on the scale, lost 3lbs which im pretty pleased with :) I did okay today stayed under 800 cals but have big meeting at work tomorrow thats making me nervous so lets hope I dont binge tonight!

(no subject)
Received a lovely backhanded compliment tonight: "You have such a pretty face but you'd be so much prettier if you just lost some weight." Hey thanks!! As if my self esteem isn't low enough.. worst of all I have to hear this from the same person who once upon a time was "very concerned" because I was too thin. wtf? trying to use comments like that as inspiration as opposed to the usual trigger for a binge.. well see how that goes...
On a brighter note, stayed well under my 500 cal goal today YAY! 
Hope everyone in LJ land has a wonderful night  


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